You Make Me Really Happy
by rachel-rage
Summary: Karen and Holly's thoughts during the final scene of True Love 03 .


Karen keeps her head down as she walks into the room. She doesn't need to look up and see Holly's eyes on her; she knows they're there, just as she knows she wishes she could look back. But just getting by has become hard at this point, and with the promise of a sundrenched afternoon in Holly's flat, she doesn't need to make things more difficult for them both by gazing after her with longing looks.

But she wants to.

As Holly stands, with the posture of someone who has taken it all and can take no more, Karen glances over at Chris. His eyes are on her already, filled with jealousy and hate. They look away from one another, Karen just hoping he'll be kind, praying he's done, finally, with taunting Holly.

And then his whispers grow into murmurs, joined by the chorus of the boys on his side of the room.

"Lesbian."

She looks up then, finally, to try and catch Holly's eye. To communicate wordlessly, like they have somehow always been able to do. But Holly is already looking at Chris, listening to every rough syllable trip out of his mouth. Her eyebrows wrinkle just enough, just enough for Karen to know that every word pierces her like a blade. Her heart twists in her chest. Of all the things that hurt her about this, the worst of it is Holly's pain. She never meant to cause her any pain, ever. It's too much to bear to watch her lip tremble, to watch her eyebrows crease in anguish.

The boys are still yelling. It's accusatory and rough, and they slam their hands into their desks and every hit feels like a physical blow to her stomach, and she can see it taking effect on Holly too, and sees it suddenly become too much.

She has a split second of seeing the abandon in Holly's eyes before she turns to grab her bag. Karen sees the fight leave her, and suddenly, she's struck by the most terrible fear, the most horrid dread that Holly is going to leave without her, and she's paralyzed.

And Holly leaves.

* * *

Karen sits there as long as she can. It feels like eons, like she'll wrinkle and die in that chair, like her bones will turn to dust and float away on the breeze. She knows that to run now, to run after Holly, will just make things worse, so she waits.

Chris has stopped shouting. He simply looks at her while her classmates carry on yelling and celebrating like children. His expression isn't even so angry; it's the disgust in his eyes that she finally looks away from.

Lorraine still sits beside her, but won't move or glance in her direction. She's silent, but Karen can feel the jealousy and fear radiating off of her. Karen's hands knot into fists, as though she's holding herself in against their hate. It all becomes too much. She can't sit there any longer.

They jeer some more as she stands. She'd like to rush, to throw her things in her bag haphazardly and sprint out the door. But her body won't listen; she's dazed at the shouting surrounding her. Her hands shake, so she leaves her folder on the desk. She won't need it.

She picks up her bag and her eyes lift for the first time. Lorraine has the decency to look down, half ashamed and half defiant, but the rest of the class eyes her brazenly. She knows the second she leaves, the talk in the room will be of nothing else.

But she leaves anyway. It feels like hours, days, years since Holly left. It feels like she took all the air with her, like Karen actually can't breathe, knowing Holly is out there, running. But in reality, she's only a moment or two behind.

Karen walks quickly down the corridor. She tries to be quiet, she knows she won't be allowed to leave if some other teacher catches her alone. Her breath leaves her in hiccups, sobs really, as her heart pounds so hard it hurts. But she hides them, choking them down until she can get free.

When she hits the door, Karen can finally exhale. She sees Holly, striding past the trees, making for the gate with no other plan than to get away. One big breath, one breath of freedom, and she's off. She walks, then breaks into an awkward run, her bag bumping against her hip as she moves.

And then she's there; one hand curled around Holly's forearm, saying '_Don't leave without me',_ the other gripping her hand tight, '_No matter what they say I'll never let you go.'_

Holly turns towards her, surprised at first, and hesitant for just one moment, and then her face lights up as she breaks into a smile. All of Karen's fear leaves her in one breath, which trips into a giggle halfway through. She looks down, to keep herself upright, but can feel Holly's eyes on her, can feel her smiling as they walk together. And when Holly looks away, she smiles back.

For just a moment, just like all their time together, the rest of the world ceases to exist, as they walk hand in hand, unafraid. The doubt of the future and the consequences of their actions fade away, for just one moment. For just one moment, they're Holly and Karen, leaving together to find somewhere they can just be.


End file.
